Control your life by playing sudoku

Last summer, when things were falling apart between David and I, we went to the beach. It had the makings of a good week-end despite our tenuous relationship: we both wanted to get out of the heat of Portland, we brought books, we were going to familiar spot near Lincoln City (an easy drive).
However, we knew things weren't right between us. And we didn't want to have a fight about it. In an attempt to distract myself, I tried reading, going for walks, even shopped at mall outlets. It wasn't working so I got a book of Sudoku and totally lost myself in the logic puzzle.

Some time later, I now realize that what was going on was that I could control, to some extent, my success at these puzzles. I certainly couldn't control whether David would love me or what kind of relationship we would have.

Fast forward to this week, nine months later. I'm hard at Sudoku this week. Saving the daily paper for the evening when I'm alone. Sitting at the table, taking it to bed, carrying it over to the bar. I. . .must. . .do. . .Suduko.

The one big deal in my life just now is that my lovely mother, Aimee, has come to live with me. My idea, sorta, but something she wanted. And now I find that nothing is simple although everything I do is familiar and okay. I just need to conquer something. Something small. Something with 81 squares and an increasing challenge over a week. I can do it. Most of the time. I hope I can say the same about taking care of Mom. I can do it. I hope I'll do it well most of the time.